I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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