very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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