dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
