i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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