Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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