Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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