sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
