we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
