Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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