Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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