Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Farmville is her only friend.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
