oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
