Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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