No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
