Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
