Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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