so explain again why im purple
no
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
