I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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