Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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