ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
3pm strippers are depressing
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize