My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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