dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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