You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
