No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
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All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
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I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize