he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
