help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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