i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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