for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So many bounce houses so little time
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize