i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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