as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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