just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
