Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How does it feel to date your dad?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
