I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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