Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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