I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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