your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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