YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
