Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize