I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
