gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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