i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
