i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
