We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
