is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
