Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize