yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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