2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
