school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
