I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
