planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
