I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
