she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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