we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
