Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
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she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
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If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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