Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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