The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
two words...techno handjob
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
