I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
