Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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