I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
